the way kungakhona

Remember those days...

[I got this email in my inbox today. Enjoy]

I thank God that I had such a wonderful childhood in such a beautiful
country...think back to the time...Before the Internet or the Apple Mac...Before
semi-automatics, AK-47s and crack cocaine... Before SEGA or Cartoon
Network...Before Play station and MTV2, and CD's and DVD's... Way back.

I'm talking about the time of hide and seek engadini... or in the dark, ingqobe,
Jim bass, tap tap, u-a-ra, umatshayana, kick and run, stop sweetie sweetie, and
Christopher Columbus, and the country game, and how everyone wanted to be the USSR and the USA !

How about building a swing from a piece of rope tied to the protruding branch of a tree- there were guarantees the rope would withstand all the strain put on
it-the result-broken limbs that never healed quite right.

And what about the times when you were lucky enough to go to the Centenary
Park-candy floss. Watching the peacocks parading their glamorous plumage. How about the Fountain with its constant shower of water spray which you awaited and relished fiendishly when it sprinkled you with its cold, albeit refreshing freshness. How about i-trade fair. You lived for that.

Bath times. Taking a bath at 4:00pm, then having tea eka 4 lamagwadla in your pyjamas-if you had these-more like izigqoko eziclean. And you knew that nxa usugezile, no more playing phandle. Closing the windows at 5 ukuti singalunywa yimosquito, while waiting for ZTV to start and watching cartoons like o Fat Albert, Voltron, Care Bears, Button moon, Rainbow!!! Smurfs, Captain Planet, Inspector Gadget and those unforgettable cartoons from the Czech Republic or some place with no sound and simple graphics!

When the weather report started, you were sent to bed, After the parents had
insisted you observe great silence during the news-Strictly no noise- Okunye was because isikhiwa sasibeqa abadala-and you did not want to be blamed for the old man not getting the news fully. How about their own periodic exclamations of,mhh uyatshinga u…, uzondile u…, asazi sizabona ngakho…Or directed to the older siblings, the question would be, Uthini mfana…

School holidays meant ekhaya or ama extra lessons. Few days before school
started again you would plead with your parents to get you new socks coz all the ones you have had izikhala. At Christmas, it was a time for negotiation-Ufuna
izigqoko zekrismas or ufuna i uniform? But most times of course you got both-oh our loving parents-How they managed you can never say.

The night before the first day of school you couldn't get to sleep. Shoes were
polished till you could see your name in large capitals, uniform pressed, new
stationery (that your parents got from work!). First thing in the morning, you
would get your lunch box with isinkwa , and cool drink.

You cannot forget the smell of Mazoe Orange Juice. With Dandy bubble gum going for a cent, ice cream from the Dairy board happy chap on the corner with his little cart. Yes, Running to the corner to buy amaputi, amafrozen, and izidabula all for not more than a dollar

Wait, can you remember... going into town seemed like going somewhere very
special, and your mother made you "dress up" for the trip, or threatened that if
you don't finish your food uyasala when the rest of the family goes to town. And
when in town, crying for fresh chips and coke.

Outside ulabangane-Running till you were out of breath. Laughing so hard that
your stomach hurt, ukweqela embhedeni..... Pillow fights Spinning around,
getting dizzy and falling down. Being tired from playing... Remember that?
Racing with an old tyres, to see who was the fastest. Playing soccer with a
plastic/ newspaper ball. Going to the shops to go play i slug. And if you ran
out of money- usually 10cents- you then filed down two cents or hammered flat a one-cent coin to use instead-and it always got stuck. And u Dave wemagrosa would be out to get you and your pals.

And, how about the little tiffs. You falling out with your friends and because
they have threatened ukukubamba-NGIZAKUBAMBA-you had a hard time going to the shops unescorted. You had to go the long way round to avoid them- but you never told umama or ubaba. It was the same with the end of the school term, as we approached the beginning of the holidays. You had to be on your best behaviour to avoid someone saying-NGIZAVALA NGAWE. Running away was not an option because the whole school knew which fights were on the bill-Not that some did not- leg it(run away because - kwabo kwagwala akulasililo).

I'm not finished just yet... Can you still taste and smell...Eating raw jelly
from the packet, Ice-lollies made from cold drink in plastic holders in the
freezer, Eating Willard's Peanut Butter on the fattest slice of fresh bread.
Eating guavas till your stomach hurt and being constipated for days after that.
Lisa khumbula umabrosi, mango, amapeaches lomumbu owosiweyo emgwaqweni. And you knew that come mumbu season you would have
it breakfast, lunch and supper, inopi, umxhanxa, inkobe lembambayila

Going to visit your grandparents ekhaya, at Easter, Heroes Weekend and Christmas. Having Roasted mealies, imfe, amathanga, imibhida yendumba, beef that tasted like beef, amasi-izankefu, amahewu, indlubu, itiye etrekileyo. And not forgetting ukubanga inyama in the same plate, while sitting iround.
How about sipping a 300ml bottle of coke ungafuni iphele and a packet of
coloured maputi. Going to engadini to catch inyoni. Going into the bush to get
sap for-inofi for catching the birds. Either it was the one you made from grease
and sap, but the popular option was the one you chewed and then uyiphehlele onto a stick.

Remember when...There were two types of takkies -Tommies and North Stars! And the only time you wore them at school, was on Civies(from civilian clothes as opposed to uniform) day( Which we called CIVICS
day). It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends. And you would ask people to be your best friend.

Nobody owned a pedigree dog. Sometimes you would go hunting in the bush-e-
estate. Sometimes you would get lucky but most times than not it was just a boys day out. 25 cents was decent pocket money, you could buy either a itshingo, ifrozen , super split, monster mouse or what ever with it. . When nearly everyone's mom was your mum and they could thuma you anyway as long be nga kubona.

Remember when it was considered a great privilege and very unusual to be taken out to dinner, or a movie, and it was something you couldn't wait to tell
everyone on Monday morning, esikolo. For the first-timers in the movie house the folding chair was a nightmare some sat on the edge with the chair still folded up. Embarrassing. Not to mention the enxiety of the whole experience. You could not sleep at night- and the parents were not supposed to know you had a date. UPHUMA USITHI NYATHUNYATHU EMZINI KABANI??? Ukukhombana was taboo to your parents. But the worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was germs. Remember the first kiss-you were not sure how to do it but were full of all these theories youre your friends. Your friends were your safety valve. You discussed it. They were not to leave you alone with your lover- that was always used implicitly as a reason for not being too personal and touchy feely becauseyour friends were present- but the true reason was you did not know how. With the coming of experience and confidence, the tables quickly turned around. When you needed your friends to go and leave you to your business- they never did. The little ironies of life-when you desperately need a knife you can never find one but a thousand spoons instead.

Any parent could discipline any kid, or feed him (and it wasn't considered ukukwata or ukudla emalinini) or get him to carry groceries and nobody, not even the kid thought a thing of it. When being sent to the headmistress' office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited a misbehaving student at home? We were in fear for our lives, but it wasn't because of muggings, drugs, Aids etc. Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat... and some of us are still afraid of them!!! Doing bad in school for some people meant being transferred to eMission school or holidays ekhaya

Remember when.... Decisions were made by going iny-miny- miney-mo." Disputes were settled by simply amabele enhlabathi. Having a weapon in school meant being caught with eversharp pen pea shooter or an eraser catapulted by a 30cm ruler. Do you u remember umaIce Cream lenqola yakhe , sometimes you would offer to push him around the neighbourhood.KwakulaboMATHANYELA- the BCC sweepers . Who hated being called that. How about the work crew yako BCC ababepheka izitshwala zamagabha. And amongst them there was always a Phiri , Banda , Sibanda or Ndlovu. As a pranks when you saw them riding along in their big BCC trucks; walking along the road, you would shou,Sibanda! or Phiri! and wave frantically in the direction of the truck and one of their number-a Sibanda or Phiri would respond in like manner waving profusely- obviously very impressed at being recognised and you and your friends would laugh your lungs out.

Chicken Flings,& Willard's Chips, ama corn curls and ama Things were snacks of choice. AmaHot cross buns during Easter, ikhekhe, pork pie, cream donut,
amaMarie, Tomango Tomato Sauce. When having relatives overseas or in South Africa was a big deal. For relatives abroad, it was essential for the whole family to go to the airport and wave goodbye, by the balcony. And when they were coming back, you expected them to bring you new shoes (which you wouldn't wear, coz you were saving them for Civics day) and mars bars.

How about umtshado emahall. Remember that, with a bridal party of 16 - 20 people doing amasteps to "It's a wedding day". With the infamous front row and back benchers- where all ubugabazi was. Labafana bebreak dance ababebuya bezo gida. Skills and courage were discovered because of a "truth or dare" Older siblings were the worst tormentors, but also the fiercest protectors.

If you can remember most or all of these, then you have LIVED!!!!

THAT WAS THE LIFE. KIDS THESE DAYS DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY ARE MISSING DO YOU ALL REMEMBER WHEN WE WOULD QOGELELA AMA ONE DOLLAR SO THAT WE COULD GO TO THE POOL. WHEN I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO SWIM AND LOLO WOULD HOLD MY HANDS B WOULD
TAKE THE FEET AND WE WOULD GO IN THE MIDDLE OF THE POOL KU SHALLOW... DO YA REMEMBA WHEN WE WOULD LOOK FORWARD TO BREAK TIME AT SCHOOL NXA WAWULE RICE AND THAT DAY YOU WILL BE QUEEN...

Do you remember?

Pass this on to all the Zimbos all over the world. Ngithe ngilikhumbuze shuwa bangane lezihlobo.Sivela khatshana shuwa lingasiboni sikhonala.

THIS IS AN OPEN SOURCE PLEASE ADD ON YOUR OWN MEMORIES AND PASS ON.

24 stellas and a bottle of tequila

ngiyagodola - the original

hl hl hl hl!

african token

Famia performs a spoken word poem at Stanford University in El Centro Chicano. The piece mixes identity politics and comedy to explode stereotypes about "Africanness."

ukujaiva

you know i'm bad in new york

Mhathabheleeland

Solusi

Plumtree Boarder Post

9th Avenue

Food 4 Less

TM Hyper

Khami Road

The Return of the Zulu Guy

S'busiso drives into a service station in his battered bakkie, clad in shorts, all stars (that come up to the knees), funky beard and i -sporty. He hands the coloured attendant the keys complete with a beautiful Tupac key ring.

Sbu: "Gcwalisa mfethu, i-Super"
Attendant: "How much?"

Sbu: Hayi bo, ngithe gcwalisa mos."

Attendant: "I only speak English!"

Sbu: "No problem. Good day to you Sir. I currently feel a profound desire to replenish the propellant of my motorised vehicle. Therefore, I cordially request you to transfer, from your subterranean reservoir, a sufficient quantity of the combustible fluid of the highest octane rating to fill the appropriate receptacle of the said means of perambulation to the brim."

Attendant: "Hau?"

Sbu: "Do you have a problem Sir? I thought you said you speak English?"

Attendant: "English that is not English!"

Sbu: "My dear Sir, are you veritably attempting to insinuate that you do not even recognise the language which you allege to be your singular means of communication?"

Attendant: "Hau?"

Sbu: "Let me attempt to elucidate in the most elementary terms; your paltry grasp of English vernacular is frittering away the time at my disposal or as I would put it in a civilised intelligible language, ungazong' jwayela wena msundulo, uthi ufrostana i-English kuphela,mara ungimoshela is'khathi sami, awuzwa FOKOL. Gcwalisa lapho wena mhlathi wakho! Uyangifrostana?"

Attendant: "Yh! Yh! Yah! Yah mfethu. ngigcwalise neh? Ngiyakuzwa"

Sbu: "Sho!"

guqa ngamadolo